It seems that the end of this year is all about testing what we have learned, to see if the lessons have truly sunk in.
For example, I lost my wallet. Was I peaceful, serene, composed?
But, after taking precautionary security measures, several deep breaths and, (I admit) enjoying a face-full of curly fries, I affirmed that if the item was meant to find its way back, it was already on its way and would arrive in the perfect time, under circumstances that would be to the highest good.
Then came the hard part, letting go. Getting on with life. I restrained myself from frantically searching, went to class and inwardly asked for the lesson inherent in this event, adding that I would be happy to reward whomever returned the wallet. (No, I am not a saint, yes, it was totally a cosmic bribe.) …And again, tried to let it go…Goddess, that is difficult.
Later, I remembered that the wallet had been a gift.
From someone who, to put it delicately, has an extremely strained relationship with money, someone whom I have allowed to pull me into their financial contortions on multiple occasions.
This bit of fabric contained all the physical evidence of my own relationship with money, any programming that told me what money is, how easy or hard it is to come by, all literally surrounded by the attitudes of worry, stress and strain of the gifter. I was unknowingly swaddling my finances in negativity, borrowed from another, with compound interest.
Well, of course it had to go.
I promised to purchase a new wallet, one representing my own, more positive (and hard-won) beliefs, should the contents of the missing container be returned to me.
And there it was.
I had just entered the studio to retrieve a few dollars for the reward money, when I heard, “No, make the bed.” Crossing to the guest bed, I looked down to pull the skewed blankets into place and there, hanging vertically in the folds, was the missing item, contents intact.
I’m not entirely sure I passed the test, but I’d like to think there was a little more peace and presence in handling this lesson than there would have been a year ago.
Sometimes, Spirit wants to show you that you can walk the talk.
I’ll be searching for a new wallet today.